Holly F

Stuck in a Moment

One of the things about the faith of my upbringing I most resent is the obsession with a moment of conversion. A specific time of decision, the beginning of faith, when you say the Sinner’s Prayer, and magically, you are saved. Your life turns around, and you are forever changed. This view of thingsContinue reading “Stuck in a Moment”

A Doubter’s Advent

I saw this image on Twitter. It’s not a new saying or idea to me, I’ve heard something akin to this a million times. A version of this is in fact a major premise of evangelical Christianity. Faith is about a “personal relationship” that is experiential. You’re supposed to feel close to Jesus, intimate even.Continue reading “A Doubter’s Advent”

In which I try to listen to praise music

This week, I thought I might have entered a new stage of my faith journey that might be looping me back to evangelicalism. I was driving in my car, scanning through radio station, and I happened upon a Christian station playing a praise song that I like, as much as I like praise music. IContinue reading “In which I try to listen to praise music”

What I’m learning from Trans Christian Twitter

First of all, there is a Trans Christian Twitter.They aren’t all Christians anymore.There’s a reason for that.It isn’t that they haven’t tried.It’s that they’ve been tried. My efforts and excuses are lame. They are unique individualsJust like we all are.Some are hysterically funny.Some are incredibly fragile.Some have hearts like a giant, cozy blanket.All of themContinue reading “What I’m learning from Trans Christian Twitter”

This is what I came for

Last Sunday, at my wonderful Methodist church, the scripture reading was one with which I had almost physically wrestled, on the floor, on my knees, in tears, for years and years. It was one with which I had been bludgeoned repeatedly by other Christians, certain they knew what the right thing was for me andContinue reading “This is what I came for”

The (missionary) kids are alright

All parents are flawed. All parents are sinners. All parents make mistakes. All children experience pain. All childhoods are a mixed bag at best. No childhood is magical and perfect. As a parent, you can’t protect your child from all suffering and hardship. Nor should you, as that is how children learn resilience andContinue reading “The (missionary) kids are alright”

I don’t understand prayer

I’ve prayed my whole life. Sometimes with real dedication and discipline, but more often casually and in passing. I’ve read books and articles about prayer. I’ve studied what scripture says about prayer. I’ve heard countless sermons and supposed explanations regarding prayer. I still don’t understand prayer. Not all prayer, though. Some kinds of prayerContinue reading “I don’t understand prayer”

Anatomy of a Sin

Most people don’t make bad choices out of the blue. Sin has a backstory, an architecture, a recipe. It’s formed like rock, over time, each layer of sediment arising from a particular set of conditions. It takes shape slowly, and if you change one ingredient, the whole thing might look completely different. The casual onlookerContinue reading “Anatomy of a Sin”

Now What?

Things are afoot in Christian America, by the numbers, but also anecdotally. I have increasing numbers of friends who were raised evangelical but are now disillusioned with that culture. They are asking a lot of questions, reconsidering their beliefs, reexamining things. This is a cultural phenomenon big enough to have a name–“deconstruction.” It has acceleratedContinue reading “Now What?”

I have a problem with hell

Among the things you aren’t supposed to say as an evangelical is that you really, really hope there is not a hell. But I really, really hope there is not, if I’m being honest. Hell is the centerpiece of evangelical faith. It’s why you become a Christian, to get out of hell. It’s why JesusContinue reading “I have a problem with hell”